Today is a new day and new days mean new starts. From to day I'm looking to the future and concentrating on the positive things in life.

Today got off to a grate start, I text my boss from work to tell her that I wouldn't be coming into work today as I'm not feeling well and she text back saying "OK, don't bother coming back!" All I have to say to her is "Fuck you!" I'm not actually that bothered the only worry is money but I'm sure I will get another job where I am welcome and I don't have a bitch like that for a manager!

Aside that two mates came over for a while and all wasn't well. I wanted to talk to someone about shit and because of the other mate she didn't want a confrontation. I don't want to confront her about this but I feel I have to as I'm scared. Although she says my secrets are safe with her I want to sort this out. I don't want to loose her, we don't have much time together as I finish college in July and am moving away.

I'm going to miss her so much.

I hate leaving situations up like this that's why I want to sort it. I can't loose her.

On a totally different note I'm worried about the scars on my arms, hands and wrists and how they will effect my chances of getting a dancing job. You can vividly see them and I fear it will hold me back. I hope to fuck they fade more than they have. The last time I cut was only 9 days ago but no more.

I want to stop cutting, I must.

Its the Easter holidays and as I don't have a job am considering going to Devon for a week or so but am undecided. I have some possible jobs to phone tomorrow so hopefully that will work out. I don't know why but I feel strange that I'm not going down for the holiday. My parents are away but I'm welcome to stay at my big sisters. I could stay at my parents house but would end up killing my little sister or harming.

On the parental note I managed to talk my mum into bringing me back some cigarettes form Portugal! I have no idea how but I have.

I'm painting a brighter color on the world and looking to the future. There's no point looking at the negative in everything or deliberating the past.

what's the point?

For now at least things are tight money wise but I'm not worried something will come along and I will be able to sort it out.