Why do I always think of me? Am I really that self centered?

I read into situations and comments to far. I preempted feelings I may feel and things I may do . To breathe and let go just for a while sounds an easy enough task but for the obsessed person it's too much of a challenge. Take a look at the world around, its in disarray, yet I think of me and wallow in my self pity.

Honestly, am I that self obsessed? Do I really only think of myself?

My whole life is ana and staying faithful to her. Till death do us part, no matter what.

Fairydust is an angel mentioned before and a savior to me. A light at the end of the tunnel. She commends me and asks the angels to help me succeed. Fairy deserves the world and the world deserves her.
A dear friend at home that means more than he will ever know has troubles and I wish I could help. The distance sometimes, well most is hard although the feelings go untold.
To say I'm a emotional person is true but strictly behind closed doors, alone.

Another year has passed and what can I say I achieved? Nothing. I still can't open and talk to my closest friends. Yeah I talk to Fairydust but not all things have words to express.
The few things I can say I have achieved is to quit smoking and not cutting. I have opened up to fairydust as although she has a less knowledge of ana and the rituals involved, she understands and accepts.

This is to thank the few people that help or try to. Thank you all and apologies to them for holding back. I can't talk or open up but I try.