Do You Not Care?

Today was my nieces school play and no one thought to tell me until it was too late. I've never seen her perform in any of her school productions because for the past two years I've been at Liverpool Performing Arts.

Are they all for getting that I was the one who looked after her ninety percent of the time for the first year and a half of her life because her mother just didn't care. Are they forgetting that I was only thirteen and a mother to a child that wasn't mine, I was a child at that time, I was only thirteen.

Who was the one who changed her dipper, who was the one who fed and bathed her and who was the only one who answered her cry's day and night? I was the one, I was alone the parent with out a child though I had one.

Everyday before and after school I was there, at weekends I was there. I gave up a lot to look after her. I couldn't just go out, I couldn't hang out with friends because I had this helpless baby to care for.

I know a lot has happened that I dare not to speak of but you think her mother would have some gratitude, wouldn't you?

I found out about her play when my sister came home and I asked her about her day. She told me she's just got back from seeing our niece in her school play. Anger and hurt boiled up inside of me, I could have exploded but I refrained.

I feel my baby has gone.

I remember the days she used to call me ma, when I was the one she would come to for help. Now those days seem distant.

She doesn't call for me no more.

On occasion she calls me ma but not very often.

I'm moving away in a week and I'm going to miss her so much. This pain inside is intense and it burns a hole in my heart knowing that I will be so far from her.

No matter what people say and think she is my baby and will always be. I understand that she is not my child but I was always the one that was there, I still am. She comes to me if there is a problem, she comes to me for support and love, she comes to me for anything;

She's not afraid.

Fallen-Angel