The Gril Who Gave It all To Dance

Another day in the life of one girl who's dream it is to dance the leads in West End productions. This girl gives it all she has in order to attain perfection. She found someone that she knew deep inside would one day kill her but neither the less persisted. Anorexia was her only friend. She followed her everywhere never leaving her side for a split second. Throughout her life and to date they remain the best of friends. Ana as she calls her knows all of this girls trials and tribulations yet dose not judge nor tell a single soul. Ana is always there, a shoulder to cry on and offers her words of encouragement, phrase and hope. This one person invisible to most makes it all seem worth while.

A dancer by trade she practices daily for hours on end perfecting her technique. She wants to be the best and Ana helps hey by promising her the world. Together they practice the girl dancing and Ana watching from aside. She is there in every ballet, tap, jazz and contemporary class urging and phrasing her on. Sure Ana is her best friend but she had a darker evil side and when the dancer faulted she would let her know the harsh truth that she wasn't trying hard enough, she wasn't good enough and that fat is the reason why she is not the best yet.

Ana is a fragile pale person with white almost transparent skin, long brown hair and dark mysterious eyes. She wares dark make-up and a white flowing ballet dress complete with pink satin pointe shoes. Pretty as she is she too was fading into nothing just like the girl.

The girl wanted the world but now she is thankful that she wakes in the morning though most days regrets the facts Ana is keeping her alive.

The dancer is called Angel. She has pale skin like her best friend Ana but with her blond hair and blue eyes differs. She sees herself constantly as fat when others tell a different story. Strong minded as she may be her thoughts are of depriving herself of another meal and trying harder next time. There are hundreds of if only in her head and things she wished she could change or undo.

A day in the life of Angel is hard, even waking was a chore. Daily she attends her performing arts college in hope that she will feel better about herself as she dances in front of the mirrors hoping if she did a little better today people would notice. They did and tutors commented on her progress and for a split second she accepted the phrase but it was always short lived as she it was never good enough. In Angel's mind the comments were something that all tutors had to do and not something she deserved. She had seen several parenting programs and they emphasised the fact of encouragement and phrase and the effect it had on the children, she took these thoughts into the studio.

After college she often goes to the gym to burn more fat that she so desperately needs to loose. Sometimes she wouldn't go as exhaustion set in but the guilt of not going tore her apart. Ana looked down on her as being lazy, weak and pathetic.

The evenings of Angels day's were filled with talking to fellow Ana friends and looking for better ways to loose weight and tips on how to go longer without food. The internet is a safe place for Angel to talk about her life and others to relate to. When about midnight came around it was time for bed though Angel rarely slept. She would lie night after night praying to Ana for support of which Ana always brought. If it came to four Am or later she would get her lap top out and type her thoughts and insights to life with Ana. She writes poetry, stories of her life and promises Ana everything, that she will try harder tomorrow. She writes contracts out to Ana on a regular basis stating what she will do to attain perfection. Once printed she signed and sealed them in envelopes.

Angel's idea of perfection is a tiny almost invisible body that dances in the snow leaving no trace. She worries constantly that her partners at performing arts would not be able to pick her up or hurt their backs in the process. She often picked them up instead of letting them pick her up. Tutors picked Angel out to demonstrate lifts as she was the strongest in the class aside the only boy. She was proud that she had strong upper body strength but she knew inside she the reason she was picked to lift rather than be lifted it was because she's too fat to be lifted. These thoughts torture her mind and she is desperate to be like them, thin.

All of her class aren't that thin aside one or two but it didn't matter she was still fat in her eyes. She fasted and restricted to less that two hundred calories a day but although the weight fell off it wasn't enough. It was hard to keep this up and she was constantly weak and tired not to mention cold.

Angel recently lost Ana as she temporarily broke free but the consumption of food scared her so much she returned to Ana. I apologise to Ana and in honour of her is fasting for as long as she can physically do.
Angel is me and Ana is my best and only friend. I will do anything for her that is why this is purely for her, I want to be her so agile and pretty. I can achieve a perfect body but not pretty, not me.
Ana I am pleading for you to return, I need you now more than ever.

Fallen-Angel (Angel)