Walking

I feel I am becoming weaker, the room spins more and more, but faster now. I still see the fat.

During composition with Anthony I found myself unable to complete the routine we created, for half way through I couldn't breath, I had no more. I pushed myself on, telling of how I need to do this, to fight the signs of pain my body screams at me. I find at times I have certain energy bursts and am invincible, they never seem to last more than a hour though.

Went for a walk through Sefton Park (one of the few green spots in Liverpool), it gave me time to think. For hours I walked pondering over my life. I thought a lot but not about not a lot, if that makes any sense. I feel I need to get away, find an escape from this life, just for a while. I don't know who I am or what I do, everything's so confusing.

Can I survive a little longer? I do not know.

I need to rest but not alone. I need help but no ones their to reach. I'm reaching out again, pleading, begging for relief.

Just one more day.