Orchard View

After I left Southlands I was waiting for reference's for a week until I could start at Orchard View as their new Senior Support Worker.

The first day was what I expected. I followed the staff around as they half heart idly attempted to induct me into the home's daily routine. A week passed of me getting paid to be a sheep. I, admit idly half heart idly began to settle in though from the first day I didn't like the place.

What was wrong with Orchard View?

The staff weren't very helpful and the seniors spent a lot of time criticizing me over every stupid little thing. The clients were almost out of control, they had no or little respect and their manners were non existent.

Each day I went out the front door to walk to work more dread built up inside.

Each night I was kept awake with the thought of another shift there.

It was an endless cycle that only spiralled in one direction and that was down.

I phoned in sick more than once because I'd been up all night dreading the next day. I think I had every virus going during my time there. I think there were only three genuine reasons.

The first: I had a chest infection.
The second: I think my girlfriend was sick.
The third: I was just out of casualty from a client behaviour.

Elaborating on the third I was caught up in a client behaviour where chairs were thrown at me. One chair just missed my head and the other I caught with my right hand and the chair smashed into my wrist/lower arm. I was taken to hospital in agony and unable to move my arm. At the hospital I was put in a sling and waited for hours. I had six x-rays in total. When the doctor saw my x-rays, we all saw a white line across my wrist though the doctor didn't know what it was. I think, in all honesty it was one of my scars on my wrist. It turns out that I'd severely bruised my arm and pulled the ligaments.

All that pain and not a single broken bone!

Six hours later I was discharged from Gillingham A&E.

The end of my job came roughly two and a half months after I started. Ironic as it was I woke up that day knowing I was going to have a supervision and a 'talking to'. The supervision wasn't planned it was just a feeling I had.

The supervision

I was called into the office twenty minutes after walking through the door by the manager. He and I talked about how I was doing (this was not the first of these 'talks' we've had). I told him how I felt, openly and honestly which isn't like me who bottles everything up pretending it was okay. We were talking and smoking (ironically) for about three hours. In the end I said I wanted to go home rather than stay a moment longer let alone a shift. I was in tears because he told me that I was very depressed, I've never heard anyone say that to me and it was painful yet true. I walked out of the home red eyed and cried the walk home. I cried some more at home too for a few hours but this time out of relief because I didn't ever have to go back to that place.

Fallen-Angel