Moving on?

During my stay in Kent I became even closer to my friend and something more than a friendship had developed, I was in love with her and she loved me back.

Could it be true, that someone could love me, the mess?

I remember the night I arrived in a strange place called Snodland. It was dark and from the train window I could see the friend who ms house we would be staying at with two small children in a pram. A figure in a coat and hat stood behind her in the shadows, it was her. I felt very nervous yet I couldn't help but smile. I got off the train and this shy woman spoke to me in a soft nervous voice. We all walked to our friends house id ally chatting along the way. Sometime passed and we all found ourselves in the lounge watching television and chatting about my journey up. Our friend was sat in her favourite arm chair with me closest to her on one end of the sofa and the one I love was on the other end of the sofa as far away from me as she could have possibly gotten unless she had sat on the farthest arm chair. The night passed as our friend went to upstairs to bed and we settled down on what was to become a familiar sleeping arrangement on the lounge floor, a makeshift bed of sofa cushions, pillows, a quilt and cats. Our friend had so many cats and a large dog who snored louder than anything I'd ever heard.
We didn't sleep much that night, if at all. We spent our time talking and watching the music channels where they continuously played one song, Photograph by Nickleback, which would become our song.
The second night, with the same sleeping arrangements, and the night we kissed for the first time. We were both quite nervous and shy as we lay cuddled up to each other. The following day she had work and on her way out she kissed kids goodbye but not me, was there something that I had done wrong? All that day and night I wondered what I had done wrong, was this a mistake, had I taken it too far? There were so many questions and thoughts roaming around my head that I had to write them down.
Looking back I wish I'd have kept that black book I was writing in at the time but like I've always done, threw it away.
The following morning when she left for work she did kiss me goodbye, then I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.
The week was soon over and I found myself back in my room in Devon.

A few visits to each other's neck of the woods and things were moving fast, faster than I could have ever dreamt.

Somewhere between October and the beginning of December I'd agreed to move to Kent and to live with her at her parents house though I'm not quite sure how it all came about.

December 17th, about eleven PM. I was talking to friends online in various chat rooms when the phone rang. We spent sometime talking before she had to go. I had something that I so desperately wanted to say but knew it would ruin the surprise.

I was moving in with her tomorrow, the 18th of December 2006-three days earlier than planned.

Before and after she phoned I was talking with my new friends in Kent planning my move. I would be getting the National Express coach to Gatwick airport where I would get the hopper bus to a hotel, then I would be meeting two friends who would drive me to their house to later meet her from work.

I spent the remainder of the night and the early hours packing all my worldly belongings into a single suitcase and a rucksack. I had my trust laptop and a large paper Monsoon bag filled with presents, everything I couldn't carry was left in my room and my parents loft.

I was packed and ready to leave Devon for good.

It was surreal how I packed my life so fast, almost as if I'd fled a bad place and was leaving all the pain behind to start a new life in a place I knew only a handful of people. I didn't have much money nor much of an idea of how I was to support myself.

I left my parents house the morning of the 18th of December 2005 at 5:30AM.

I texted and phoned her making up what I was doing desperately trying not to tell her I was lying and that I was just hours away from her.

I arrived in Kent at a friends house, the couple's home in which I would spend my first night at in my new life. I was shown around, shown my room and left downstairs watching Phantom of the Opera alone and scared. They were working upstairs and I felt the lonelest and lost I'd ever felt.

Fallen-Angel