I was in Devon last week visiting my parents and seeing friends.
I'd waited most of the week to see one guy and on the Thursday night we met up and went out. We met a mate of his and went to a club. All was going fine until I felt really sick, I went to the bathroom and was sick pure blood. I came out and sat with the guys looking and feeling like shite. I told my mate what just happened and explained that I am now mia as well as ana and he was concerned but as he'd previously been cool about the whole situation I didn't worry about it. I was so wrong he went on to tell me that there must be another way and I replied that if there was I'd be doing it all ready and that I'd been doing this since I was nine, I know what I'm doing.
His mate and I got on really well and I ended up staying at his house that night. He's a nice guy but I only met him a few hours previously and that's really not like me.
Before we left the club my mate seemed distant and when me and his mate we dancing he left without saying goodbye or telling us where he was going. I text him and got no reply naturally I was worried but I thought that I'd done something really bad, which I now know I have.
His mate suggested it's be a good idea to tell him instead of him finding out from another source and I agreed. He called him and told him everything. I later got a text saying that his mate had phoned him, told him everything and that he was cool with it all. I don't believe that for a second.
I don't know what to do anymore, I really don't. Do I go with this guy who I met only last Thursday or with my mate the guy I love? The guy I'd do anything for.
The guy I bled for.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
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